RACE DETAILS

Attention Mushers, Runners, Race fans, and Abominable Snowmen!

The Idiotarod race kicks off Saturday, January 28 at 2:30p. It begins at Monster Island in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and finishes in a Manhattan park. The rolling pageant and grueling endurance race will happen rain or shine, blizzard or breeze.

This email is long and includes a lot of information. You do not have to read the entire thing. If you are a racer, the Overview section will tell you almost everything you need to know. Just make sure that at least one person on your team reads the entire email; there are a lot of rules and other important things.

You will find the following sections in this email:

Overview
Registration
Rules (General, Running, Carts)
Route
Times
Registered Teams
A Note for Volunteers
Last Minute Notes


XXXXX OVERVIEW XXXXX


The Iditarod is the famous long-distance race in which yelping dogs tow a sled across Alaska. Our Idiotarod is pretty much the same thing, except that instead of dogs, it's people, instead of sleds, it's shopping carts, and instead of Alaska it's New York City.

The race begins at the Monster Island art space in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and finishes at beautiful Manhattan park. Teams of five will compete for cash prizes.

We expect teams in costumes, hot-rod shopping carts, and all sorts of ancillary mayhem. We think it will be extraordinarily silly.

Everyone is invited to race. If you would like to race and do not have a team, please use our bulletin board at precisionaccidents.com. It works!

There will be an afterparty and awards ceremony at Tonic on Norfolk between Delancey and Rivington in Manhattan, featuring performances by the Defibulators, Battlestar, Fur Cups for Teeth, Sxip-Matta, and burlesque dancers Anita Cookie, Gigi LaFemme, and Nasty Canasta, plus dancing courtesy DJs Spinoza and Dirty Fingers.



XXXXX REGISTRATION XXXX


You do not have to register before the event, but it is extraordinarily helpful and we would really appreciate it. There is online registration with Paypal at precisionaccidents.com. If you don't want to pay online or you do not have a credit card, please send us your team name, your email address, your phone number, and the name of your cell phone provider to jstark@nonsensenyc.com or call 718 288 8970.

So far there are 30 teams registered. We expect up to 100 teams, for a total of 500 racers. It will be glorious.


XXXXX RULES XXXXX


Rules will be enforced by a number of referees at the starting line, the checkpoints, and scattered throughout the race area. Serious violations will result in disqualification. Minor violations will receive time penalties.

General
* There is no official route. The race includes a start, two checkpoints, and a finish. You must begin at the starting line, hit both checkpoints, and then cross the finish line. It is up to you to choose your own route, factoring in street surface, traffic, pedestrians, and snow accumulation.
* You must remain at each checkpoint for 20 minutes.
* Your team must register at the start of the race. The fee is $5 per person, or $25 per team. Registration money will be used to put on the event. After expenses, percentages will be paid out in cash prizes: 25 percent for first place, 10 for second, and 5 for third. The Best in Show award for best costumes takes 25 percent. Best Sabotage takes home 10 percent. Our performers and hosts will split the remaining 25 percent.
* The head referee will be the final arbiter of rules and all things fair and unfair. Even if he is drunk.

Running
* Teams must include five members.
* The same five members must start, finish, and hit every checkpoint together. You may not swap in designated runners.
* Four members (Runners) must be attached to the cart during the entire race (except at checkpoints). One person (Musher) is free to run behind the cart. The Musher may ride in the cart, but this is dangerous and not recommended.
* Runners and mushers may rotate positions.
* Teams must be on foot at all time. Bikes, rollerblades, jets, or rocket packs are not allowed.
* You must run the race on foot. That means no subways, cars, vans, taxis, or other conveyances.

Carts
* Teams must use a standard shopping cart. Any size cart is fine, as long as it is not a child's cart or a toy.
* Carts may be modified, but they must include every part of the original cart. For example, you may cut the bars and lower the cart, but the bars must be reattached to the cart somewhere else.
* Carts must ride on rubber caster wheels. Wheels may be any size, but they must be solid rubber. No inflatable tires.
* Carts may not be motorized.
* In the case of fresh snow or ice, carts may ride on sleds or skis.


XXXXX ROUTE XXXXX


You must hit each checkpoint. You will be held at the checkpoint for exactly 20 minutes. In all seriousness, please be extraordinarily respectful to the people at our checkpoints -- not our judges, per se, but the people who work behind the bar or on the other side of the counter. Tip big and shower them with your graciousness.

Starting Line: Monster Island, 210 Kent Avenue, at Metropolitan, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Checkpoint 1: An art space in Brooklyn
Checkpoint 2: A parking lot in Manhattan (that happens to be near a bar)
Finish line: A Manhattan park.

Awards ceremony: Tonic, at 107 Norfolk between Delancey and Rivington.

You will receive all checkpoints and local maps at the registration desk. In the past we have given that information out before the race. Not this time. In the interest of fairness and overall event security you'll find it in your registration packs on the day of the race. We hope you understand.

We will be experimenting with text messaging broadcasts in the event of major obstacles or unforeseen circumstances. Please heed all messages. This is a secure server and will not be used by anyone who shouldn’t be using it.


XXXXX TIME XXXXX


Teams should arrive at Monster Island at 1p for registration.
The race starts at 2:30p, sharp.
Volunteers (referees and checkpoint attendants) should arrive at 12.30p.


XXXXX REGISTERED TEAMS XXXXX


This is a working list of registered teams. There is a chance that there is a team that is not listed below; we might have just misplaced the note or forgotten what you told us late one night at a party. Please forgive us and just send us an email to update our roster.

Equipo Vampiro
Les Marks de Skid
Team DRNK (Deadly Ruthless Ninja Killaz)
The Killah Condimentzz
Asses Of Fire
Reject Mutant Ninja Turtles (RMNT)
Temple Of Doom
Blunder Women
MC Pee Pants
The Runaway Brides
Glitter Motion
Precision Accidents
You're Going to Need a Bigger Boat
Chariotneuf-du-Pape
Lunch Ladies
Bean Amerika
Cumoniwannalayya
Hunting Accident
Team Zissou
Team Tenenbaums
Rebel Yell
Turd Ferguson and Cleanup on Aisle 7
Team Blondie
The Big Evil Corporation, Inc.
New York Flyers
Mad Scientists
COBRA (Carts of Brooklyn Racing Association): Local Tissue Destruction
COBRA: Glossopharyngeal Paralysis
COBRA: Necrosis
COBRA: Nausea and Vomiting
COBRA: Uticaria and Fever (Rare)


XXXXX VOLUNTEERS XXXXX


Yes, we could use volunteers. -- especially referees willing to brave the cold and monitor high-probability cheating zones. We would also like a victory committee for the finish line. Please send us an email (jstark@nonsensenyc.com) if you can help.

For those of you who have already volunteered, please expect a coordination email later this week. We will ask you to be at Monster Island at 12.30p on Saturday for a pre-race staff meeting. You are encouraged to wear costumes or thematically appropriate clothing.


XXXXX LAST MINUTE NOTES XXXXX


This is a competitive event, however it is also silly and fun. You do not have to run the entire time, nor do you have to stay sober. We will not reward drunkeness or sloth in and of itself, however there will be a substantial prize for the most creative team, the Best in Show Award. There is also an award given to the team with the most inventive sabotage techniques.

Like most races, this is just partly a competition against other teams. The real challenge is to find the courage and wherewithal in yourselves. You are going to be running across a New York bridge with a shopping cart and through busy streets in a Bear suit. If you can do that, who really cares if you win?


XXXXX END XXXXX


See you on Saturday! Dress warm and wear your running boots.